John Morris' mistake (crack)
by ShadowBlaze15
Summary: complete storyless random stuff that me and a friend threw together while bored. A very OOC John Morris attempts to enter what may or may not be Castlevania.


Author's Note: Me and a friend were bored at school the other day, and we decided to do a collab story. I tried to do a Castlevania-esque thingy, and he tried to screw me over around every turn. I originally intended for it to be some kind of Rondo of Blood parody, but it eventually ended up as an incredibly out of character John Morris in a Symphony of the Night style castle. Oh well. Co-Author usually goes by Greenman1147, but he doesn't use this site. On to the story.

_**Note: His handwriting is terrible, and I'm copying it as I see it. so if something doesn't make sense, It's probably supposed to say something else, I just couldn't read it.**_

It was a Dark and Stormy night. The lightning flashed through the sky at irregular intervals. A small, two horse carriage galloped through the large forest. A small figure in a dark raincoat was steering the horses towards a large, ominous-looking castle in the distance. Lightning struck one of the horses, and it burst into flames. The man driving the carriage exclaimed in fright, then looked up into the night sky to see a large figure in a black cloak holding a scythe, laughing ominously. "Mother get out of that silly costume and help me." The man yelled. The creature in the sky laughed again, and spoke in a distinctly male voice, "Foolish Boy! Your mother no longer inhabits this body!" The man summoned a donkey on top of the creature. Two halves of Donkey fell on the road, and tripped up the man's remaining horse. The man leaped out of the carriage, throwing his cloak behind him as he tossed a large hand axe at the body that was formerly inhabited by his mother. "Foolish Demon!" Do you know who you are dealing with? I am Richter Belmont! The world famous vampire hunter!" This was a bluff, of course, He was rally just some random axe salesman. The ominous laughter filled the air again, as the creature flew off towards the castle, which the man was 90% certain was Dracula's castle. The other 10% proved true however. This was really the long lost castle of Hiug Tarchen. The man, whose real name was John Morris, looked back at the wreckage of his carriage. How could he emulate the actions of the Belmont Clan by slaying Dracula if he couldn't get to the castle? Well, he would have to walk. the castle was only a mile away. John decided to try to use a small rubbery tree nearby, when it was struck by lightning and destroyed. He started walking to the castle. On the way, he noticed a small lady sitting by the side of the road, picking mushrooms. He knocked her out, stole everything she had, and kept going towards the castle. As soon as he approached, the drawbridge started to rise. Cursing to himself, he sprinted towards the castle, and leaped at the bridge, catching the side of it with the tips of his fingers. He climbed up the drawbridge an siddoww the other side. Inside, past a large iron gate stood a large suit of armor holding a Demonic looking head. As he approached it, the gate slammed behind him, and Dullahan, for that was the name of the Demon, tossed his head into the air, and as the armor assumed a battle position the head floated behind it and started hovering behind the armor. John ran like mad farther into the castle, and when he reached a dead end, found that the demon had lost him. John went back down the corridor, found a door that wasn't the one he entered the area through, and entered an enormous enchanted library, with enchanted flying books going every which way but towards the shelves. He managed to catch one and started to read. For some reason, the publication date of the book was 52 years in the future. John hadn't noticed that as he laid his hands on the book, every other book int he library grew long, spiked teeth, and started ominously approaching him. While he was reading, the other books ate him alive, and he died.

*I drew a pretty neat looking skull and crossbones here, but I can't scan the image*

The End.

This probably wasn't the best way to introduce myself to the community, especially after I posted a beta chapter for a halo fanfic that fell flat on it's face the very next day. So expect more random stuff like this in the future!


End file.
